15 December 2014
Brazil – Tirobhav of Srila Param Gurudev Sri Srimad Bhaktivedanta Narayana Gosvami Maharaj
Srila Goura Govinda Maharaja told that Gaudiya mission means the crying school. Not laughing, not joking school. Because in this material world, people don’t know how to cry. Maybe people are crying for wife, children, wealth, money, boyfriend, girlfriend, if they lose something, if they do not eat, they will cry. But who will cry for Krsna?
Guru disappearance day means this: how to cry for him. Will you cry? Will you cry for Guru? Share one tear from your eyes for Guru? Or will you laugh and joke?
Who will cry for Guru? Try to understand. Gurudev once gave one heavy lecture about this. I remember, in the disappearance day of Srila Vamana Gosvami Maharaj, I am just remembering Gurudev’s words.
Who will cry for Guru? Who has sambandha-jnana. If you have no sambandha-jnana, no knowledge of the relationship, you will not feel separation from him.
Guru is always with you, this is true, but why is he acting this lila (pastime) of disappearance? Because he is thinking, “Who will cry for me?”
When the sun rises, then you are happy, but when the sun sets, then you feel something [strange]. In the same way, on the Guru’s appearance day, you are very happy. And when it is the Guru’s disappearance day, you feel separation. This is called sadhana. Sadhana is not other thing than how you will feel separation from him.
In the disappearance day, you should remember his greatness, how he was so kind, merciful upon all the living entities. He is not physically with me so for this regard I feel pangs of separation from him. When he was physically with me, what kind of love and affection he had with me, you will remember. Now I am completely helpless, who will give me direction? Which direction will I go? If in my heart come any doubts, who will give me the perfect answer?
This is called separation. Then you will feel separation from your Guru. Actually, this separation is also called meeting. When you are glorifying him, in the day of the Guru’s disappearance day, you are remembering him, it means you are meeting him. It is viraha-milan.
This is the process, how you will cry for Gurudev. This is the nature, when any maha-purusa disappears, everything become completely upside down and everybody try to criticize, try to speak, everybody start to speak: “bla bla bla bla bla bla”. This is the nature of the conditioned soul.
So, in the day of his disappearance, the disciple should remember his Gurudev.
“Hey Gurudev, in which direction will I go? Who will give me the perfect direction? In which direction will I go? What will I do?” These things. In this way he is crying and remembering Guru’s mercy and his love and affection.
I saw in the disappearance day of Srila Bhakti Prajñan Kesav Gosvami Maharaj. At that time, Gurudev just started to speak, and then he was crying and crying and crying. He could not speak a word. And he keeps remembering: “How my Gurudev was so merciful with me!” He humbly told: “I was born in one asura’s place, called Narakasur place, but my Gurudev caught me by my sikha, and give me shelter at his lotus feet”.
With Srila Bhakti Prajñan Kesav Gosvami Maharaj was in the same way. When he used to go to the samadhi of Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Prabhupad, he could not speak: “Pra…”, “Prabhupad”, He could not speak. When he started to speak: “Prabhupad” – on the [word] “Pra…” his throat choked and he could not speak and tears rolling down. And at that time, he just indicated with his hands, fingers, asking to Srila Vaman Maharaj, Trivikram Maharaj, Narayan Maharaj speak about Prabhupad. He did not speak one word, just feeling separation. He just spoke “Pra”, with his throat chocked and [kept] crying and crying.
This morning I told you: if you meet someone, then you can feel separation from him. If you never met one person, if you never served him, how to speak, how to feel separation from him? This is simple.
Tulasi das also said: The sterile lady will never cry for her son. This lady did not give birth to a baby, so how is possible that she will feel separation from her son? So that means that you will feel separation when your sambandha-jñan comes, then you feel separation.
So, why are you all coming here today? To remember Gurudev’s life history. But, first, who was he? Who was Narayan Maharaj? Where was he born? I mean, in this material world. In the transcendental world, do you know? Raman Manjari. That or this manjari, only manjaris can speak. This is very high level, so first we have to know where he was born, who he was.
If you speak about someone’s life history, first you should know who he was, where he was born. This is the simplest way of understand about someone. Otherwise, when I ask you: “Hey, who is your Gurudev?”, “Narayan Gosvami Maharaj”. “But who was he? Where was he born? How did he join our Gaudiya Math?” We should learn everything about Guru. Who was he? Learn everything. That is the process on how to speak about the life history of a Mahapurusa.
If you speak jivan-katha about any Mahapurusa jivan (life), like Rupa Gosvamipad, Sanatan Gosvamipad, should you start saying Rupa Manjari was a maidservant of Srimati Radhika, this, this, etc? No, first you should explain who is Rupa Gosvami, Sanatan Gosvami, first speak about them, then general people can understand.
Srila Narayan Gosvami Maharaj was born in Bihar, India, in a high-class exalted brahman family, called Tiwari-brahman, high class brahman.
There are many categories of brahmanas. The Tiwari-brahmanas are called Trivedi-brahmanas. There are many categories of brahmanas accordingly to their knowledge of the different kinds of Vedas. Those who know the four Vedas are called Caturvedi-brahman (you can find them in Mathura); those experts in three Vedas are Trivedi-brahmanas. If they are expert in two Vedas, they are Divedi-brahmanas. So, Tiwari means that his cast is actually called Trivedi-brahmana, high-class exalted brahmana.
And his family is completely suddha-vaisnav. They performed bhajan and sadhan, especially they were absorbed in Ramayan. Gurudev told us many times, they were always absorbed in Ramayan and Bhagavad-Gita also.
In his childhood, he always used to take bath in Ganges. Ganga was far from His house about three kilometers. Gurudev told: “Every day I used to take bath in Ganges”.
His father’s name was Balesvarnath Tiwari and his mother’s name was Laksmi-devi. But Gurudev, at that time his name was Gaur Narayan, was so much absorbed with study and every day he worshiped Lord Ramcandra, chanting Ram-nam. Gurudev told: “In my childhood I was so much impressed with Ramayan, Lord Ramcandra”.
When he was a small boy, his father gave him the name Bhola. Bhola means a person who is very simple, with no duplicity, no hypocrisy, as Lord Siva. One of the names of Lord Siva is Bhole-baba, Bhola.
And he was expert in all the subjects [at school]. Gurudev told: “At every class I got the highest mark, I used to get one hundred percent marks”. You have to read Gurudev’s life history and you will be impressed on how he did bhajan and sadhan.
Guru-tattva means “nitya-parikar”, all disciples should think: “My Gurudev is the eternal associated of Krsna. But in this material world, he is acting like a sadhaka”. As Rupa and Sanatan, the eternal associates of Srimati Radhika, Rupa Manjari, did in this material world, acting like a sadhaka. Verse
Rupa and Sanatan, how did they perform bhajan and sadhan.
Every day they chanted the holy names in a fixed number of rounds. In the same way, Gurudev told: “Every day I used to chant 64 rounds of the holy names”.
Then, He got one service (job). At that time it was in the police service. Then, very quickly he advanced and became a police inspector.
All that I am saying I heard directly from Gurudev, his life history. I am not reading anything. It was directly from his lotus lips.
Once Gurudev told: “How did I give up my household life and joined in Gaudiya-sanga and took shelter at the lotus feet of my Gurudev Srila Bhakti Prajñan Kesav Gosvami Maharaj?”
Once, when he was a police inspector (SP), at that time some high authorities came for the inspection of His office. But one very important paper missed and they could not find out where was that document.
At that time the British Government was ruling India, and they used to give very heavy chastisement. So, it means that the information had come from London, and that paper had to submit to another office, but all officers had searched and could not find out that one special, important paper that was missed.
Gurudev told: “Even all my bosses, my officers, they were also afraid – ‘what will we do? What answer will we give to them?’ If we don’t give that paper to them, they will give a heavy punishment, maybe we will go to the prison for ten or twelve years’. So, all my higher officers were trembling: ‘What will we do?’ All they were searching, again and again, revising the files where the important papers used to be.”
Then Gurudev told: “Ok, I will check”. And Gurudev just chanted:
HARE KRSNA HARE KRSNA
KRSNA KRSNA HARE HARE
HARE RAMA HARE RAMA
RAMA RAMA HARE HARE
Then he touched the file, opened it, and automatically the document manifested there. And Gurudev told: “At that time my heart was completely melted and tears were rolling down. I had heard the glories of the holy names, that the holy names would fulfill all our desires. But now I had directly seen it”. Because when he chanted the holy names, he just opened the file, and that paper appeared.
Then, Gurudev was decided: “If by chanting the holy names, He (nam) could give me that paper, if I pray to the holy names: ‘please, give me Krsna prem!’ – why will He not give me?”
Then, all his officers glorified him so much, but Gurudev’s heart was melted and he was thinking: “I won’t work anymore. I have to resign and go to Krsna, to meet with sadhu, do bhajan and sadhan. Then my life will be successful!”
But how to get the sadhu and sadhu sanga? By the causeless mercy, after a few days some brahmacaris came from Devananda Gaudiya Math and did a program very close to his place.
Narottamananda dasa brahmacari was one of them, later his name changed to Bhakti Kamal Madhusudan Maharaj. Gurudev used to say always: “Bhakti Kamal Madhusudan Maharaj is my siksa-guru. He brought me to the lotus feet of my Gurudev. When I listened to his hari-katha, my heart completely melted. I thought: ‘I had to give up my job and associate with sadhu and serve the lotus feet of a bona fide guru’”.
As Raghunath das Gosvami, who was thinking: “How will I give up my household life to meet with Lord Caitanya Mahaprabhu?” At that time, his (Srila Narayan Gosvami) wife was very young, and he also had two girls children. So Gurudev was thinking: “What will I do now?…”
Then he was thinking: “I have to give up these things” when he hear one sloka of Srimad Bhagavatam: Verse
Srimad Bhagavatam gives this statement: This human body is very, very rare. Wealth, money, wife, children, boyfriend, girlfriend, you will get accordingly to your karma. One hundred percent true. But it is very, very rare to get the association of a sadhu and by the association of sadhu, Krsna bhakti. This is very, very rare.
So, try to understand Gurudev when He heard this sloka and decided: “Oh, this is my life. I have to give up everything and take shelter of the lotus feet of bona fide guru.
Gurudev told: “From that day on, my mind was completely absorbed on it, every day. For three days I did not go to the office. Day and night alone in my room I was chanting the holy names.
After three days, one person came from his office and told: “Hey, why are you not coming to the office?” So after three days [without going to work], he went to His office and his boss told him: “No, look, these three days, you were present here!”
And Gurudev told him: “No, no, I did not come for three days” and the officer: “Yes, you came!”
This is called Guru’s artimartha caritrar, the super natural character of Guru. Then he decided: “I have to give up my job and go to Navadvip Dham”. Then, at night time, he wrote a letter to his office: “I resign of my post. I am going to Navadvip dham, do bhajan and sadhan. Don’t disturb me”.
He took one train and directly arrived in Navadvip dham. And at that time, the own servant of Param Guru Maharaj called Sajjan-Sevak brahmacari (after named Vaman Gosvami Maharaj) was there. At that time, the [train] station was an ordinary station, a countryside station, Navadvip was not a city, not developed, with no electricity, nothing. He took a lantern and went there. So Sajjan-Sevak brahmacari took a lantern, a querosen torch, and waited on the Navadvip station. When the train stopped, there were many people coming and going, and at the time Gurudev Narayan Gosvami Maharaj arrived, Sajjan-Sevak brahmacari (Gurudev Vaman Gosvami Maharaj) said to him: “Oh, are you Tiwari, coming from Bihar?” and Gurudev Narayan Gosvami Maharaj: “How do you know? I did not give any information to anyone. How do you know?” “Gurudev sent me to bring you from the station to temple.”
Then Gurudev Narayan Gosvami Maharaj came with Sajjan-Sevak brahmacari, and arrived in Devananda Gaudiya Math. And Gurudev told: “When I first met my Gurudev, because I had never seen him before, my heart completely melted, and I gave my completely dandavat pranam.”
To be a disciple means to surrender completely at the lotus feet of Guru.
[But] Kali yuga’s disciple means what? If Guru gives a little chastisement, “this guru is not bona fide guru”. And if Guru do not give chastisement, “oh, he is a nice guru!”
Last year I gave a little chastisement to one disciple, and he said: “Oh, you are making aparadha to my feet!”. This is Kali-yuga, everything is upside down. The disciple commits offense unto guru’s lotus feet, but now in Kali yuga the guru “commits offense” to the disciple’s “lotus feet”. (laughing). Kali yuga’s disciples are very nice and beautiful.
Some disciples are also “boomerangs disciples”. They are better than arrow disciples (laughing). Gurudev once joked with me: “You know, most of the disciples in Brazil are arrow disciples. They take diksa, harinam, go [away] and never come back!”
Once, one disciple met with Guru. This [history] was Gurudev who told me and now I will tell you. At that time the disciple told: “Gurudev, do you know me?” Gurudev told: “What is your name?” “Oh, Gurudev, did you forget me? You gave me diksa, harinam…” Then Gurudev asked: “In which year?”, “Gurudev, it was in 1960!”, “But now is 2010!!” After 50 years, the disciple returned back asking: “Gurudev, do you know me?” “No. What is that disciple? Boomerang disciple. No”.
I just want to explain what Gurudev told: “When I had first met my Gurudev, my heart completely surrender. I told: ‘Gurudev, all the love and affection of my wife, children, everything, I offer unto your lotus feet’”.
So, on Guru’s appearance and disappearance day, we remember Guru’s life history, how did they performed bhajan and sadhan, how they had surrendered to their Gurus and Krsna.
Gurudev told: “From that day on I have always associated with Vaman Maharaj, who was called Sajjan-Sevak brahmacari. He also engaged me to serve my Gurudev, Bhakti Prajñan Kesav Gosvami Maharaj. Whatever I needed, clothes or other things, before I asked to Sajjan-Sevak brahmacari, He already got them for me. So I have always associated with Sajjan-Sevak brahmacari and my Gurudev. [Learned] How to cook, how to do everything. Sajjan-Sevak brahmacari, Srila Vaman Gosvami Maharaj, was not used to speak very much. Very rarely he talked. If you asked him anything, he would give you answer; otherwise he was never used to speak, never joke, nothing. He was always absorbed with his own service, service for his Guru. He was always absorbed in serve his Gurudev and if he had time, he was reading books or chanting the holy names. I have never seen Sajjan-Sevak brahmacari, Vaman Gosvami Maharaj, doing ‘blablablablablabla’. Never. For this regard I was so much impressed with Sajjan-Sevak brahmacari and I always wanted to stay with Him”.
Gurudev told: “Then after a few days, some of my family’s member, my father and other family’s member came and tried to make me go back to my home, but I told: ‘No. This is my life. I have to serve my Guru. Guru is my mother, Guru is my father. I completely surrendered unto the lotus feet of my Gurudev.’”
And then Param Guru Maharaj told: “I will give sannyasa to [the three of] you”. So first he asked to Trivikram Maharaj, his name was Radhanath das Adhikari: “Will you take sannyasi?” He answered: “No, I am not qualified to take sannyas.”
Then he went to Srila Vaman Gosvami Maharaj – Sajjan Sevak Brahmacari – and he answered: “I don‘t know what is sannyasi…” Then at last he asked to Gaur Narayan das Adhikari and Gurudev told, very simply: “Gurudev, if you put me naked or if you put me on clothes, whatever you want [I will do]. Now I am yours, like a puppet. That means that if you want to give me sannyas, or brahmacari, or grhasta, or whatever you want, I will follow your instruction. Ok, I will take sannyas.”
At that time, the other two brahmacaris: “Okay, we will take sannyas. Gour Narayan is taking, ok so we have to take too.” At that time, Bhakti Prajñan Kesav Gosvami Maharaj gave sannyas to the three of them.
Indian sannyasi means you don’t change the clothes. Western sannyasis sometimes change. Sannyasi clothes you never change, do you understand? Sometimes putting jeans and sometimes putting the sannyasi clothes, this is not proper. [They do this] Because they don‘t know the meaning of sannyasi clothes. Sannyasi clothes means to have a deep attachment to Srimati Radhika, that is the meaning of the saffron clothes, a deep attachment with Srimati Radhika.
The deep significance of this cloth, I cannot speak in front of everybody, but there is a deep meaning. But if people don‘t know, sometimes they are putting jeans and sometimes they are putting the sannyasi clothes. But this is stupid-nonsense, do not do this! I have already seen sannyasis with short pants and playing football. What are they doing? Are they sannyasis? Stupid-nonsenses! That means they don‘t know the meaning of the clothes of the sannyasis. They are thinking these are ordinary clothes. They are saying that “Krsna is now ‘west’”. From where is this philosophy come from?? I don´t know. They say: “No need to put tilak marks, no need to wear kanti mala, no sannyasi clothes, Krsna is west! No dhoti, it is only Indian culture, only Hindu culture!…” Hey! Why do they take sannyasi cloth? I don‘t understand…
So at that time Gurudev told: “Gurudev, anything you give me, I will accept.” Then the three of them took sannyas. Sajjan-Sevak brahmacari name is Om Visnupad astottara-sat Bhaktivedanta Vaman Gosvami Maharaj, Radhanath das Adhikari’s name is Om Visnupad astottara-sat Bhaktivedanta Trivikram Gosvami Maharaj, and our Gurudev, Om Visnupad astottara-sat Bhaktivedanta Narayan Gosvami Maharaj.
And all of them were always speaking hari-katha because sannyas means how to speak hari-katha in a proper way. Once a sannyasi told me: “I can preach [only] where there are new people. Why? Because new people don’t know any tattva-siddhanta, so I can speak anything.” I told him: “This is your cheating potency. How long will you cheat the new people? One day they will be learned in sastra, then they will say: ‘oh, he is big cheater!’”. You cannot say this way: “I can preach only to new people because if I speak to the experienced people, who knows tattva-siddhanta, they will look my faults”. I told him: “This is your cheating potency. You have to learn sastra! If you don‘t know the sastra, you are just speaking blablablabla… Hey!”
So Gurudev told: “I have learned everything from my Gurudev, and I have also associated with Vaman Gosvami Maharaj, Trivikram Gosvami Maharaj and I have always given respect to them”. Gurudev always told: “I give respect to Vaman Maharaj, Trivikram Maharaj, they are also my siksa-gurus.” Our Srila Gurudev Vaman Gosvami Maharaj and Srila Trivikram Gosvami Maharaj always gave respect to Srila Narayan Gosvami Maharaj.
Once Trivikram Gosvami Maharaj asked to Gurudev Narayan Maharaj: “How are you preaching all over the world? Why everybody is attached to your hari katha? Why?” At that time Srila Gurudev told: “This is the mercy of my Guru.” At that time Trivikram Maharaj told: “This is true. You have served Gurudev. Not only Gurudev, you have served his Guru-sevak. For this regard You have received the mercy of your Guru.”
At that time one sevak of Param Guru Maharaj called Ananga Mohan brahmacari was with tuberculosis. Param Guru Maharaj had so much love and affection for him.
So he was admitted in one hospital in Madras. And that time Srila Param Guru Maharaj told to Gurudev: “You should go and take care of him.”
So Gurudev went and took care of him, but after a few days Ananga Mohan brahmacari got worse, became very sick, about to leave his body, remembering: “Pitaji, Pitaji, Pitaji, please give me shelter at your lotus feet. I am going to Vrndavan…” Then Srila Gurudev told: “He Prabhu! You also give mercy to me.” How Ananga Mohan brahmacari was absorbed with his Guru! Then, when Ananga Mohan brahmacari left his body, Gurudev wrote a letter to Srila Bhakti Prajñan Kesav Gosvami Maharaj: “He Gurudev, you gave me a very valuable jewel to protect, but I could not protect…”
Gurudev told: “First you have to feel separation from Guru, have nistha with Guru; then you will understand about Radha Krsna tattva and other things”. First have mamata with Gurudev, possessiveness with gurupadpadma.
So Narayan Maharaj told: “When I returned back from Madras and met my Gurudev, he embraced me and cried, and cried…”
Srila Trivrikram Maharaj told: “How you have served Sri Guru and Vaisnav! For this regard now you are preaching all over the world!…”
Without servicing Sri Guru and Vaisnav you cannot preach also. [Only by] Guru’s mercy, Vaisnav’s mercy. So, always remember Gurupadpadma. Verse
Your bhakti, seva-vrtti, should be simultaneously with Guru and Krsna, then everything automatically will manifest in your heart.
Srila Gurudev Narayan Gosvami Maharaj was like Jiva Gosvamipad. His tattva-siddhanta is very powerful, and his rasa-madhurya [also], everything [like Jiva Gosvami]. In the same way, when Gurudev were giving hari-katha, Vaman Gosvami Maharaj, Trivikram Gosvami Maharaj were also listening and became surprised with his hari katha. Even big, big acaryas, pandits from Mathura, Vrndavan, Navadvip, became very surprised to listen to his hari-katha. Even many Bhaktisiddhanta Prabhupad’s disciples, Srila Janardan Gosvami Maharaj also was always associating with Gurudev, Srila Narayan Gosvami Maharaj. He (Srila Janardan Gosvami Maharaj) used to told him: “Narayan Maharaj, You are a vraj-rasik-vaisnav!” He always used these words.
And special contributions to Iskcon were made by Srila Gurudev Narayan Gosvami Maharaj! Because Bhaktivedanta Svami Maharaj didn’t want to stay in the temple, but Gurudev told him: “You have to stay in our Kesavji Gaudiya Math. No need any work, nothing.” Because at that time he was very old. “Just you edit our hindi patrika (magazine) and stay here.” Then he was staying and after a few months Srila Bhakti Prajñan Kesav Gosvami Maharaj came from Navadvip and Gurudev told to Svami Prabhupad: “You have to take sannyasi!”
I remember in 2010, when Gurudev came to Brazil, they did a very nice and beautiful drama about how Srila Bhaktivedanta Svami Maharaj took sannyas from Bhakti Prajñan Kesav Gosvami Maharaj and how our Narayan Gosvami Maharaj also arranged His sannyas fire sacrifice ceremony, these things. Gurudev was very pleased, because Brazil is very far from India, and have a different language, so many people misguide others. Many people ask: “Hey, who is the sannyasi guru of Srila Svami Prabhupad?“ “Oh, maybe one Mathura’s brahman…”
They are not saying that was Bhakti Prajñan Kesav Gosvami Maharaj and don’t say a word about Bhaktivedanta Narayan Maharaj. Why do they say this? To misguide you. Even in the books, there were many books but they delete these things. That Bhaktivedanta Svami Maharaj took sannyasa from Bhakti Prajñan Kesav Gosvami Maharaj, that Narayan Gosvami Maharaj performed His sannyas ceremony. Before was written these things, but now they’ve changed. Some say: “Oh, maybe he took sannyas from one Mathura’s brahman, this, this, this this”. If you go to our Kesavji Gaudiya Math, [you can see that] there was there where Bhaktivedanta Svami Maharaj took sannyas.
You have to read Gurudev’s one small book called “My priya bandhu and siksa-guru” – [this book is an] evidence: “Bhaktivedanta Svami Maharaj is my siksa-guru and also he is my very nearest and dearest friend”. Gurudev told: “When he came to Western countries I sent him mrdanga, kartals, Mathura’s sweet – pera – many things also. And he has so much love and affection for me, always communicating with me. He wrote me many letters”. Some of them are also published on another book (“Letters from America”). So you have to read these books, then you can understand what kind of relationship there was between Gurudev Srila Narayan Gosvami Maharaj and Srila Bhaktivedanta Svami Maharaj.
Gurudev told: “I am the first disciple of Bhaktivedanta Svami Maharaj. He also told me: ‘You will give me samadhi.’ And he also held my hand at his last times and told me: ‘You have to give some instruction to my disciples. Because Indian culture and Western culture are very different. They don‘t know. So, you have to give some instruction about how they can develop their sadhan and bhajan, spiritual life.’”
So you can hear this audio, in which Bhaktivedanta Svami Maharaj spoke many conversations with our Gurudev, and videos of how Gurudev gave him samadhi also. This is important.
So, today is a super excellent and auspicious day. You have to glorify Guru’s katha. How Gurudev was merciful, how he preached…
We will speak for seven days glorifying our Gurudev hari-katha, his life history.
[Disciple: Tomorrow you are leaving…]
Gurudev: No harm. Whatever I will go, I will speak about Gurudev’s hari-katha!
I’m used to sing:
(jadi) narayan nahito, tabe ki hoito, kemone dhorito de?
radhara mahima, prema rasa sima, jagate janato ke?
“If Srila Narayan Gosvami Maharaj had not appeared, then what would have become of us?”
gao punah punah, narayaner guna sarala hoiya mana
“With a simple heart always sing about Srila Narayan Gosvami Maharaj glorious qualities.”
(Jadi) Gauranga Nahito – Srila Narahari Sarakara)
Again and again, glorify the life history of Srila Narayan Gosvami Maharaj, again and again, every day you should read and listen to Srila Gurudev jivan-katha, life history. It will really develop your bhajan and sadhan, how he did bhajan and sadhan.
Jay Gurudev! Jay Patit Pavan!